- Hope you like batteries, cause you're going back to triple A!
- Hey _____, when you get back to the dugout, tell _____ he stinks!
- Do you guys actually practice or do you just show up for the games?
- You even stink in the video game!
- You couldn't make ice without a recipe
- I thought you were the team mascot!
- I hope you paid to get in!
- What's wrong, are you trying to beat the spread?
Hurry up and practice, the game starts soon!
- I've got a better team pulling my buggy! (Amish fans only)
- Do you get any better when the fielders catch up?
- You'd be more entertaining if you were on fire!
- I can't believe they wasted 1/3rd of a scholarship on you!!
- Go start the bus!
- You stink like an outhouse in July!
- Hey, call home your mom just made bail!
- Do you think you'll like this game once you catch on?
- It's time to hang up those spikes
- Your mouth looks a little dry
- Back to the minors!
- Is it Ladies night out there?
- Are you gonna play all 9 innings today?
- Bench Polisher!
- CP & NC (Shorthand for scouts -Can't Play and No Chance)
- Does your husband play too?
- They'd come down from Triple A to look at you, but they don't tow wrecks this bad
- You guys couldn't beat the Helen Keller School Team.
- Do you want MY autograph?
- 1972 called, they want their haircut back!
- At least with this team we always see the bottom of the ninth!
- Biggest contribution you could make to this team is to go on the DL
You were in (AAA city) so long they wanted you to run for mayor
- You look a whole lot better since they dug you up!
- Noonan, miss it! Miss it Noonan! (from Caddyshack)
- Try breathing through your eyelids, meat!!! (Bull Durham)
- I've got internet stocks in better shape than you!
- You're in the show, show me something!
- I heard the first nine fans to arrive in (opponent's home field) get to start the next game!
- Beat the rush, beat the rush! (as others leave early)
I remember my first beer too! (to boisterous fans)
- If you throw all your peanuts at me what are you going to feed your mother?
- I've seen better fans at Home Hardware.
Looks like you'll have to wait the full five years to get into the Hall of Fame
- Whatever they're paying you, I can match it!
- Can you spell doube-A?
- Grab a straw, You Suck!
- Take that jersey back to the footlocker!
The (farm club) has a locker with your name on it!
- You couldn't beat anything with a stick!
- You're dead at recess.
- What position do you play?, left bench?
When a player makes a bad play yell the city where the team has a AAA affiliate Salt Laaaake Ciiiiity!
- Maybe you're left-handed and you don't know it
- The steroids aren't working