If you're going to heckle, then learn to do it right

Jeffrey Swiecicki could use some help.

He's the fan who made a federal case after being kicked out of a Tribe game in 2001 for taunting then-Indians outfielder Russell Branyan.

On Friday, a federal appeals court ruled that Indians fans have a right to heckle ballplayers as long as the fans are not drunk or too rowdy.

Five years ago, a cop working security thought it was profane when Swiecicki yelled, "Branyan, you have a fat ass!" and "Branyan, you suck!"

I've not taken a good hard look at Mr. Branyan's derriere, so I don't know if I concur. But calling someone "fat ass" and yelling "you suck" is lame.

Swiecicki considers himself a Tribe fan. I've seen better fans at Home Depot.

If Branyan did in fact look like he hijacked a Twinkie truck, Swiecicki had better options to yell, such as these:

Who dressed the keg?

Only one man to a uniform!

You better feed your butt - it's eating your pants!

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