• You haven't reached second base since your prom!
  • A two year old with out a sled has better slides
  • I've seen better legs on my couch!
  • I've seen better legs hangin' out of a nirds nest!
  • I haven't seen a slide like that since Enron
  • I've seen better slides at the pool!
  • You run like you're moving furniture!
  • You run like a dry creek!
  • Your average speed is slower that a Hippo on stilts!
  • Way to stretch that triple in to a double!
  • You run like a deer! A John Deere
  • You couldn't run a bath!
  • I've seen better legs in a bucket of chicken.
  • Put some WHEELS on that wagon you're pullin'!
  • Are you posing for a picture?
  • I've seen better legs on a piano
  • The team bus could have got around second faster than you!
  • You couldn't steal home if you had a key!
  • Unhitch the trailer!
  • You move like a potted plant!
  • Maybe some day you'll learn to play that piano you're dragging!
  • Are you carryin' a safe?
  • It's all right to drag the piano, just don't stop to play it.
  • Base Clogger!
  • You call that baserunning? I've seen better runs in [insert teammate's name here]'s panty hose!