Baseball Heckling Blog
A Baseball Fan's Journey to Better Heckling:
I once was a hapless baseball heckler. But I had no idea exactly how bad I was until the summer of 1996. It was then, while taking in a Toronto Blue Jays game with a few friends, a friend pitched a particularly bad line towards the visiting Minnesota Twins bullpen. Looking down on Greg Hansell, the line was "Hey Hansell, where's Grettel?". It was Twins catcher Matt Walbeck who turned around uttered the words that changed my life. He said, 'You're the worst hecklers I've ever heard in my life,'. We felt like idiots. It was then and there that I realized the need to improve my powers of harassment, but quickly realized there was a woeful lack of literature devoted to the art of baseball heckling.
The web as we know it today, was then in it's infancy, but the newsgroups turned out to be the perfect place to start my search. A few posts asking for the funniest line ever heard at the ballpark resulted in dozens of responses, so much so that over 500 baseball one-liners were gathered within months. Some were viciously witty, others were not-so-clever cliches, but since those early days, the list has grown to over 2000 of the best zingers. Some of the best submissions include:
*I've seen better picks in an Afro!
*Olive Oyl's got better curves than you!
*Cinderella gets to the ball faster than you do!
and my personal favorite...
*How's your Japanese?
I will use this blog to post whatever daily thoughts I can muster about my site, the Baseball Heckle Depothttp://www.heckledepot.com , and baseball heckling in general.
I once was a hapless baseball heckler. But I had no idea exactly how bad I was until the summer of 1996. It was then, while taking in a Toronto Blue Jays game with a few friends, a friend pitched a particularly bad line towards the visiting Minnesota Twins bullpen. Looking down on Greg Hansell, the line was "Hey Hansell, where's Grettel?". It was Twins catcher Matt Walbeck who turned around uttered the words that changed my life. He said, 'You're the worst hecklers I've ever heard in my life,'. We felt like idiots. It was then and there that I realized the need to improve my powers of harassment, but quickly realized there was a woeful lack of literature devoted to the art of baseball heckling.
The web as we know it today, was then in it's infancy, but the newsgroups turned out to be the perfect place to start my search. A few posts asking for the funniest line ever heard at the ballpark resulted in dozens of responses, so much so that over 500 baseball one-liners were gathered within months. Some were viciously witty, others were not-so-clever cliches, but since those early days, the list has grown to over 2000 of the best zingers. Some of the best submissions include:
*I've seen better picks in an Afro!
*Olive Oyl's got better curves than you!
*Cinderella gets to the ball faster than you do!
and my personal favorite...
*How's your Japanese?
I will use this blog to post whatever daily thoughts I can muster about my site, the Baseball Heckle Depot
1 Comments:
Winnipeg Canada, Double "A" baseball Winnipeg Goldeyes Vs Kansas City August 18th 2006.
I cheered Kansas City and heckled Winnipeg as; Easy Out, Swing sucker, Go Back to Little League, Take the bat out of your butt so you can run, You're too fat to run when player waddles closer.
Home fans swore, moron, @#%$, freak, neandrethal, loser, go home etc. I was under attack heckled worse than players.
35 swearing unruley fans launched complaints. Ushers came to my seat. I yelled, you are Canadian, this is baseball and buzz off.
2nd usher came I said lawyers would be involved, fans are louder than and buzz off.
3rd Usher came. I said you'll need police. Police then came to hear my greatest heckle: Goldeyes pitcher loaded bases, Kansas City hit grand slam home run. Arena was silent. I yelled at Goldeyes pitcher; Hey goofy, load the bases again, 4 more runs, 4 more runs, hey goofy.
Cops handcuffed and arrested me for intoxication (cheap excuse) not heckling.
I am currently in a law suit against Goldeyes Baseball Club if fans are provoking and swearing, they are causing the disturbance.
Goldeyes barred me from the ballpark temporary. In anger, I flew to Calgary, Goldeyes last game of the year and booed them all 9 innings. Was in newspapers.
Wish me luck in court. Fans were swearing with kids around. I wasn't swearing. Three rules of heckling. No cuts to race or religion. No cuts to players family. No swearing, be a bit softer than the crowd, go for it.
10 minute radio samples from game is on my website with 5 minute talk show.
Thanks;
Bryan R. Benson
204-291-0887
Bryan@Talent7.com
www.talent7.com
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