• This infield has more holes in it than a swiss cheese donut
  • I glove you man!
  • The only ring you're going to get is an engagement ring!
  • You'd better not shower after the game, your hands might rust!
  • Last year you won the gold glove this year you are wearing it!
  • Take the skillet out of your mitt it works better!
  • I can throw a bowling ball better than that!
  • You couldn't catch a rash at a poison ivy convention!
  • That balls going over your head, just like Sesame Street!
  • Your team hates you!
  • He couldn't throw out Strom Thurmond!
  • We can list your glove with the French rifle, never used! !
  • Hey Pinnochio, throw like a real boy!
  • You play shortstop like Ozzie...Osbourne!
  • FUNDA-MENTALS! (after an error)
  • Nice hands All-State!
  • Someone brought their frying pan to the game! (after a booted ball)
  • Leave your skillet at home! (after a booted ball)
  • How 'bout some jam with that P B!(To catcher after passed ball.)
  • You've got the range of a rosebush!
  • Get that guy OnStar cause he looked lost!
  • (To a catcher throwing to second) Is there a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow?
  • You couldn't throw a cat out of a window!
  • What size boots do you wear?
  • Hey Jeter, I just bought your glove on ebay!
  • Nice Play, next time mix in a little more leather!
  • What did you do? Get your glove caught on your skirt?
  • There's more holes in his glove than a Florida presidential ballot!
  • Get special teams off the field!
  • Bozo called and he wants his mitt back!
  • I've seen better scoops in an ice cream parlor!
  • Sieve!
  • Nice boots cowboy!
  • It's time to change the Velcro in your glove!
  • Find the handle! (after a booted ball)
  • You've got more boots than Willie Nelson!
  • I've seen a better throw at a pillow convention!
  • That's why your mother didn't let you eat with a fork!(After a booted ball)
  • Are you hands painted on?
  • The cow that was used to make your glove just turned over in his grave!
  • He bought a new glove and forgot to read the instructions
  • Get the Teflon out of your glove!
  • This infields got more holes in it than OJ's alibi
  • You'll have a heckuva year if your chest holds out
  • Use your glove, it's paid for
  • Get a rifle scope on that arm
  • How does that centerfield wall look there 2nd?
  • You've got hands like feet!
  • Have you got that boot in my size?
  • Hey nice play, Shakespeare!
  • I've seen better range on an oven!
  • Hey they killed a cow to make that glove, at least you could try to use it!
  • Take the boxing gloves off!
  • Cinderella gets to the ball faster than you do!
  • This ain't no rodeo, get those boots out'a here!
  • He's got hands like a digital clock!
  • Did you make that glove in wood shop?
  • He couldn't catch a steel ball with a magnet
  • I've seen better hands on a clock
  • Check your shorts third!
  • Way to kick it Pele
  • Watch out for those Air Pockets!
  • It's not raining so take off your boots (after a kicked ball)
  • Get the spring out of your glove
  • Boots always come in pairs!
  • Put the glove on the other hand!
  • Next inning try leaving the glove in the dugout
  • Did you get a free can of soup with that glove?
  • He couldn't find his behind with both hands
  • Nice throw Alice
  • Nice catch Alice
  • You couldn't catch a cold, butt-naked, sitting in a freezer with your feet in a bucket of ice!
  • It's Edward Scissorhands!
  • I don't know's on 3rd!
  • Can you eat with those hands?
  • Did you get your glove from US Steel?
  • Try catching it in the glove, not your chest
  • Is that glove welded on you?
  • You've got such bad hands, your glove is embarrassed!
  • We know you can catch the ball, how about hitting it?
  • You wearing your sisters spikes?
  • BOOORRRING!
  • HHHHHOT DOGGGGGGG!
  • Game....Boring....Take..Nap.
  • Will you autograph my bus ticket to (AAA city)?
  • Nice route Magellan! (For a fielder that has trouble getting to a ball)
  • When are you going to take off those handcuffs?
  • The magic number for this team is 911
  • Now THATS what I call Defensive Indifference!
  • STERRR-RRROIDS
  • Run Forrest,Run!
  • Even though no one is here, this game still counts!
  • You're playing too far off the bag!! (To Rightfielder)
  • Do over! (After home team error)
  • I've seen better hands on a snake!
  • You need some glue in that glove!
  • You guys are playing like you want to beat the traffic!
  • All 9 of you guys are supposed to be playing!
  • You couldn't throw out the trash!
  • That's not a glove... that's a frying pan !
  • Putt-Putt wants to hire you for the ninth hole!
  • I'm standing and I can't get down!
  • This guy couldn't catch herpes!
  • You couldn't field a beachball with a pitch-fork
  • There's a softball team somewhere with you pencilled in for first base!
  • Flies are sure out tonight
  • Put ME in, Put ME in!
  • You guys were eliminated opening day!
  • This guy is a bush leaguer!
  • That was Bush!
  • Houston, We have a problem!
  • Let's play two!
  • At this rate you'll finish behind Alberquequee!
  • The Girls of Summer!
  • How much is your autograph worth?
  • How much is your rookie card worth?
  • Pace your self out there!
  • You're playing like Helen Keller!
  • I hear you've won 3 lead glove awards!
  • Why don't you go wait on the bus!
  • When did you stop caring?