What size boots do you wear? Hey Derek, I just bought your glove on ebay! Nice Play, next time mix in a little more leather! What did you do? Get your glove caught on your skirt? There's more holes in his glove than a Florida presidential ballot! Get special teams off the field!

Nice route Magellan! (For a fielder that has trouble getting to a ball) Bozo called and he wants his mitt back! I've seen better scoops in an ice cream parlor! Sieve!

Nice boots cowboy! It's time to change the Velcro in your glove! Find the handle! (after a booted ball) You've got more boots than Willie Nelson!

I've seen better a better throw at a pillow convention! That's why your mother didn't let you eat with a fork!(After a booted ball)Are you hands painted on? The cow that was used to make your glove just turned over in his grave!

He bought a new glove and forgot to read the instructions Get the Teflon out of your glove! This infields got more holes in it than OJ's alibi You'll have a heckuva year if your chest holds out

Use your glove, it's paid for Get a rifle scope on that arm How does that centerfield wall look there 2nd? You've got hands like feet!

You got that boot in my size? Hey nice play, Shakespeare! I've seen better range on an oven! Hey they killed a cow to make that glove, at least you could try to use it! Take the boxing gloves off!

Cinderella gets to the ball faster than you do! This ain't no rodeo, get those boots out'a here! He's got hands like a digital clock!

Did you make that glove in wood shop? He couldn't catch a steel ball with a magnet I've seen better hands on a clock Check your shorts third! Way to kick it Pele Watch out for those Air Pockets!

It's not raining so take off your boots (after a kicked ball) Get the spring out of your glove Don't lose your glove Boots always come in pairs!

Put the glove on the other hand! Next inning try leaving the glove in the dugout Did you get a free can of soup with that glove? He couldn't find his behind with both hands Nice throw Alice Nice catch Alice

You couldn't catch a cold, butt-naked, sitting in a freezer with your feet in a bucket of ice! Its Edward Scissorhands! I don't know's on 3rd! Can you eat with those hands? Did you get your glove from US Steel?

Try catching it in the glove, not your chest Is that glove welded on you? Nice catch (each time the catcher receives that ball) You've got such bad hands, your glove is embarrassed! Watch out for the wheelbarrow (Infield pop-ups only) We know you can catch the ball, how about hitting it? Hey shortstop, you wearing your sisters spikes? BOOORRRING!

HHHHHOT DOGGGGGGG! Game....Boring....Take..Nap. Will you autograph my bus ticket to (AAA city)?

More Fielder Heckles