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Fielder Heckles:
- The only ring you're going to get is an engagement ring!
- You'd better not shower after the game, your hands might rust!
- Last year he won the gold glove this year he is wearing it.
- Take the skillet out of your mitt it works better!
- I can throw a bowling ball better than that!
- You couldn't catch a rash at a poison ivy convention!
- That balls going over your head, just like Sesame Street!
- Your team hates you!
- He couldn't throw out Strom Thurmond!
- We can list your glove with the French rifle, never used! !
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- Hey Pinnochio, throw like a real boy!
- You play shortstop like Ozzie...Osbourne!
- FUNDA-MENTALS! (after an error)
- Nice hands All-State!
- Someone brought their frying pan to the game! (after a booted ball)
- Leave your skillet at home! (after a booted ball)
- How 'bout some jam with that P B!(To catcher after passed ball.)
- You've got the range of a rosebush!
- Get that guy OnStar cause he looked lost!
- (To a catcher throwing to second) Is there a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow?
- You couldn't throw a cat out of a window!
- What size boots do you wear?
- Hey Derek, I just bought your glove on ebay!
- Nice Play, next time mix in a little more leather!
- What did you do? Get your glove caught on your skirt?
- There's more holes in his glove than a Florida presidential ballot!
- Get special teams off the field!
- Bozo called and he wants his mitt back!
- I've seen better scoops in an ice cream parlor!
- Sieve!
- Nice boots cowboy!
- It's time to change the Velcro in your glove!
- Find the handle! (after a booted ball)
- You've got more boots than Willie Nelson!
- I've seen better a better throw at a pillow convention!
- That's why your mother didn't let you eat with a fork!(After a booted ball)
- Are you hands painted on?
- The cow that was used to make your glove just turned over in his grave!
- He bought a new glove and forgot to read the instructions
- Get the Teflon out of your glove!
- This infields got more holes in it than OJ's alibi
- You'll have a heckuva year if your chest holds out
- Use your glove, it's paid for
- Get a rifle scope on that arm
- How does that centerfield wall look there 2nd?
- You've got hands like feet!
- You got that boot in my size?
- Hey nice play, Shakespeare!
- I've seen better range on an oven!
- Hey they killed a cow to make that glove, at least you could try to use it!
- Take the boxing gloves off!
- Cinderella gets to the ball faster than you do!
- This ain't no rodeo, get those boots out'a here!
- He's got hands like a digital clock!
- Did you make that glove in wood shop?
- He couldn't catch a steel ball with a magnet
- I've seen better hands on a clock
- Check your shorts third!
- Way to kick it Pele
- Watch out for those Air Pockets!
- It's not raining so take off your boots (after a kicked ball)
- Get the spring out of your glove
- Don't lose your glove
- Boots always come in pairs!
- Put the glove on the other hand!
- Next inning try leaving the glove in the dugout
- Did you get a free can of soup with that glove?
- He couldn't find his behind with both hands
- Nice throw Alice
- Nice catch Alice
- You couldn't catch a cold, butt-naked, sitting in a freezer with your feet in a bucket of ice!
- Its Edward Scissorhands!
- I don't know's on 3rd!
- Can you eat with those hands?
- Did you get your glove from US Steel?
- Try catching it in the glove, not your chest
- Is that glove welded on you?
- Nice catch (each time the catcher receives that ball)
- You've got such bad hands, your glove is embarrassed!
- Watch out for the wheelbarrow (Infield pop-ups only)
- We know you can catch the ball, how about hitting it?
- Hey shortstop, you wearing your sisters spikes?
- BOOORRRING!
- HHHHHOT DOGGGGGGG!
- Game....Boring....Take..Nap.
- Will you autograph my bus ticket to (AAA city)?
- Nice route Magellan! (For a fielder that has trouble getting to a ball)
- When are you going to take off those handcuffs?
- The magic number for this team is 911
- Now THATS what I call Defensive Indifference!
- The ball/rightfield/bag is over there!
- STERRR-RRROIDS
- Run Forrest,Run!
- Even though no one is here, this game still counts!
- You're playing too far off the bag!! (To Rightfielder)
- New York stinks! (Always a winner, no matter what teams are playing)
- Do over! (After home team error)
- I've seen better hands on a snake!
- You need some glue in that glove!
- You guys are playing like you want to beat the traffic!
- All 9 of you guys are supposed to be playing!
- Use 2 hands!
- You couldn't throw out the trash!
- That's not a glove... that's a frying pan !
- Putt-Putt wants to hire you for the ninth hole!
- I'm standing and I can't get down!
- Pay child support you deadbeat dad!
- Can I have your autograph/Can I have a baseball!
- This guy couldn't catch herpes!
- You couldn't field a beachball with a pitch-fork
- There's a softball team somewhere with you pencilled in for first base!
- If we get a lead, call time out!
- Get a haircut!
- Flies are sure out tonight
- Put ME in, Put ME in!
- You guys were eliminated opening day!
- This guy is a bush leaguer!
- That was Bush!
- Houston, We have a problem!
- Let's play two!
- At this rate you'll finish behind Alberquequee!
- The Girls of Summer!
- How much is your autograph worth?
- How much is your rookie card worth?
- Pace your self out there!
- You're playing like Helen Keller!
- I hear you've won 3 lead glove awards!
- Why don't you go wait on the bus!
- You're Not even TRYING man...
- When did you stop caring?
- I'm not seeing any hustle!
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