• The only way you'll get to Cooperstown is by car
  • I just named my new dog <insert players name>, because he gets beaten every day
  • Hey ____, is that your (glove, bat, uniform, hat)? (repeat)
  • Hope you like batteries, cause you're going back to triple A!
  • Hey _____, when you get back to the dugout, tell _____ he stinks!
  • Do you guys actually practice or do you just show up for the games?
  • You even stink in the video game!
  • You couldn't make ice without a recipe
  • I thought you were the team mascot!
  • I hope you paid to get in!
  • What's wrong, are you trying to beat the spread?Hurry up and practice, the game starts soon!
  • I've got a better team pulling my buggy! (Amish fans only)
  • Do you get any better when the fielders catch up?
  • You'd be more entertaining if you were on fire!
  • I can't believe they wasted 1/3rd of a scholarship on you!!
  • Go start the bus!
  • You stink like an outhouse in July!
  • Hey, call home your mom just made bail!
  • Do you think you'll like this game once you catch on?
  • It's time to hang up those spikes
  • Your mouth looks a little dry
  • Hummm-babe!
  • Back to the minors!
  • Is it Ladies night out there?
  • Are you gonna play all 9 innings today?
  • Bench Polisher!
  • CP & NC (Shorthand for scouts -Can't Play and No Chance)
  • Does your husband play too?
  • They'd come down from Triple A to look at you, but they don't tow wrecks this bad
  • You guys couldn't beat the Helen Keller School Team.
  • Do you want MY autograph?
  • 1972 called, they want their haircut back!
  • At least with this team we always see the bottom of the ninth!
  • Biggest contribution you could make to this team is to go on the DL
  • You were in (AAA city) so long they wanted you to run for mayor
  • You look a whole lot better since they dug you up!
  • Noonan, miss it! Miss it Noonan! (from Caddyshack)
  • Try breathing through your eyelids, meat!!! (Bull Durham)
  • I've got internet stocks in better shape than you!
  • You're in the show, show me something!
  • Looks like you'll have to wait the full five years to get into the Hall of Fame
  • Whatever they're paying you, I can match it!
  • Can you spell doube-A?
  • Grab a straw, You Suck!
  • Take that jersey back to the footlocker!
  • The (farm club) has a locker with your name on it!
  • You couldn't beat anything with a stick!
  • You're dead at recess.
  • What position do you play?, left bench?
  • When a player makes a bad play yell the city where the team has a AAA affiliate Salt Laaaake Ciiiiity!
  • Maybe you're left-handed and you don't know it
  • The steroids aren't working