• Try aiming out of bounds!
• Need a weedwacker to find that one !
• Bring a machete in your bag?
• Club went farther than the ball!
• You shouldn't drink and drive!
• That one is off to Grandmothers house!
• Should I put you down for 6? That's my final offer.
• Check your hands for powder burns
• That will be an ornament
• Next time take the head cover off before you putt
• You're going to need a backhoe to replace that divot! *

Golf Shots In the Sand

• You're a Beach Boy!, Fun Fun Fun!
• Smells like someone's in the cat box!
• You are the Sandman!

Good Golf Shots

• Take a picture, make a poster!
• Drive for show, putt for dough!
• That's a happy shot!
• Oh-oh, you are way to close to the green!
• You punished that plastic!
• Nothin but the bottom of the cup!
• Like a laser beam through a breeze!
• You da man!
• You are birdie-ful!
• That is long and gone!
• Someone's been taking lessons!
• The eagle has landed!
• Give me the Bird!
• So that's how it's going to be, your luck vs. my skill
• That ones on the dance floor

Bad Golf Shots

• Put on your Bogie shoes!
• If I only had an aim! (Sung to the tune of If I only had a brain
• Do you want some pepperonni on that slice?
• What did you do to your swing?
• Don't make me hit you again!
• Sit!, Fetch!, Roll Over!
• Not everyone can slice like that!
• Well, it'll be a short walk!
• Too bad you can't hit your tee shots that long!
• Did you see the wind take that?
• Check your hands for powder burns!
• Your skirt must have blown up in your face on that swing
• That one got a squirrel
• Not enough postage on that one
• Didn't quite connect
• Should have put a little body english on that one
• Start thinking about the next one Get down! Bite!
• Blame the Russian titanium alloy
• Your divots are too heavy to carry back You'd better run! (to ball)
• Nice stroke Alice!
• Your handicap is your swing!
• Walk it off!
• At least you'll be able to find that one!
• You should use pink balls, they are easier to find!
• Do you have clubs with numbers on them?
• Pssst, it breaks the other way!
• Nice shot, the tree trunks not more than a foot wide!
• So close, but yet...so what?
• Bogie man is coming to get you!
• That's one way to wash a ball!
• The pin is that thing with the flag on it!
• I think you've got alignment issues!
• I lost it watching your wacky follow through!
• The green is that light colored thing in the distance!
• Run ya panzy!
• That's coming in hot!
• Did anyone else feel that gust of wind!

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