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Pitcher Heckles:
- Throw the Gyro!
- Yoko Ono's got better pitch control than you
- I don't think you've got time to teach him a slider. (Mound Trip)
- Here strike zone, strike zone strike zone. Come here boy.
- The plate hasn't moved in 100 years and he still can't find it!
- We should arrange a funeral for your dead arm!
- Check the roster, you might be left-handed!
- I've seen better pitchers at a Tupperware party!
- You've got about as much control as two rabbits on a first date!
- We're lighting you up like a christmas tree!
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- Call this pitcher a butcher 'cause he's serving up the meat!
- You could have started a car with that jump!
- I've seen more heat in an EZ-Bake oven!
- Dick Cheney has better aim
- Hey pitch! Why do you keep hitting our bats?
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- You can fill a closet with all those hangers!
- I've seen better curves on a square!
- Serve it up snack bar!
- This pitcher is getting lit up more times than a joint at a phish concert!
- The pitcher is as dirty as the ball he just threw!
- This pitcher is dealing more junk than Fred Sanford.
- Be a hooker and work the corners!
- I've seen better pitching in T-ball!
- This guy's falling apart like a Wal-Mart Sweater!
- I've seen better pitches by a used car salesman!
- You couldn't save a Word file!
- Call the zoo, he's getting wild!
- Flip him over coach he ain't done yet!
- Open the screendoor he is outside!
- You couldn't strike a note!
- The way that ball was dancing, you know it wasn't Southern Baptist!
- Beethoven had better movements!
- You're supposed to drop and roll when you get burned!
- You better get a black top hat, a cape and a magic wand because you ain't fooling anyone with your stuff!
- One finger means fastball, not one mile an hour!
- The harder you throw, the farther they go!
- I hope you got your degree!
- This pitcher is like the family car, everyone gets to drive him!
- The pitcher's got nothing on the ball but his hand!
- I've seen better curves on a dragstrip!
- I've seen better pitches in a bar room!
- I've seen better junk in a junkyard!
- I've seen better curves on your grandma!
- I've seen better windups on a toy!
- Nice pitch! It's might not be that fast, but at least it's straight and down the middle!
- Maybe Sherlock Holmes could find the plate for you!
- How about a donation for this walk-a-thon!
- I've seen better curves on a road!
- I've seen better moves on a first date!
- Call a search party cause this guy can't find the plate!
- I've seen hot dogs with more mustard on them!
- He's got about as much control as two rabbits on their first date!
- This must be the Top 40 Countdown, the hits just keep on rolling!
- Get a snorkel because he just took you deep!
- You couldn't pitch hay!
- Seen better picks in an afro!
- You are going to have to ride the SHORT bus home!
- When is the team getting in? Did the bus break down?
- I've had candles with more heat!
- You spend more time near rubber than a tire salesman!
- There is more heat in an Amish home!
- You couldn't strike a pose!
- Hey Pitch, Take off the oven mitt!
- You couldn't throw rice at a Chinese wedding!
- No, Really, throw a fastball!
- Save us some time and just throw it into the gap!
- We want a pitcher, not an underwear snitcher!
- Olive Oyl's got better curves than you!
- I've seen better pitchers of beer
- It must be Italian Night, because the Pitcher is serving meatballs.
- If you keep throwing that tomato its going to rain chili for a week!
- Couldn't find a plate in a kitchen!
- All married men out of the infield!
- Why does your shortstop wear a bulls-eye?
- Maybe you're a lefty!
- Where did you get that arm, a garage sale?
- Get him a map, he can't find the plate!
- At least hit the cut off man!
- Turn the blinker off! (pick-off)
- Rotate the diamond! (pick-off)
- I've seen better movement in a bedpan! (pick-off)
- Send a postcard it will get there quicker! (pick-off)
- Read him like a book! (pick-off)
- I've seen a better move by U-Haul! (pick-off)
- Da dee dee de de de ..Just telegraph him it's coming (pick-off)
- Read that one like the Sunday paper! (pick-off)
- You already pitched to him! (pick-off)
- Feel free to mix in a strike every once in the while
- What's the matter, you need a running start?
- We want a pitcher not a belly itcher!
- Hope you're wearing your neck brace!
- Hey, lunch meat - keep serving that baloney!
- Click your heels 3 times and repeat after me.....there's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home!
- There's a fight at the bat rack!
- You couldn't strike out Stevie Wonder!
- You pitch like the plate is high and outside!
- They're opening up another can of pitchers!
- He's got one higher than that!
- First pitch ceremony is over buddy!
- He's got nuthin but his glove!
- We're going to hit you so hard you'll get whiplash!
- He's an equal opportunity pitcher, everyone gets a hit.
- He must be the Pillsbury Dough Boy cause he just got poked
- Someone call 911...They are killing him!
- How can you throw with both hands wrapped around your neck?
- This guy only throws the ball 55 feet!
- Let him know you're out there!
- Have a nice shower!
- I've seen better moves on Soul Train!
- They show movies on that flight?
- What kinda pitcher are you? Chuck and duck?
- You've been hit so hard you're glowing!
- That pitch wasn't even in this time zone!
- Stick a fork in him!- that Pitchers done
- I could walk alongside that pitch!
- Watch ya gonna do when they come for you...
- Its raining Baseballs!
- Help, I'm choking!
- Are there any doctors in the house? Anybody know the Heimlich?
- Batting practice!
- Better get the bullpen busy
- You couldn't pitch hot biscuits to a hungry dog
- I saw your fastball pictured on the side of a milk carton!
- You might as well have them hitting off a tee!
- Get him a bucket, he's throwing up!(If the pitcher is throwing high a lot)
- Put a coat on that hanger! (for a hanging curve ball)
- You couldn't pitch a tent!
- You might not be tired, but the outfielders are!
- The catchers throwing the ball back harder than you're throwing it in!
- You couldn't throw a tantrum!
- Who's calling the pitches?
- I haven't seen this many zeros in a row since Mr.Spock had a book signing
- There are so many zeroes on the board, it looks like the display case at Dunkin'Donuts
- Pitcher got a rubber arm!
- Just bring in the pitching machine!
- Throw the ball, not the game!
- With this guy pitching, the ground crew will have to drag the warning track after the fifth inning!
- You may as well let him toss it up and hit it!
- I could time your fastball with a calendar!
- You need to learn a new pitch-it's called a strike!
- (when the opposing team's manager was taking out a pitcher) Leave him in, we're not done with him yet!
- Someone go out there and put another quarter in the pitcher!
- Wind him up again coach!
- You should have a disclaimer, allow four to six weeks for delivery!
- You couldn't strike out a match!
- You need a cut-off man for your pitches!
- That ball was so far outside it had a hat and coat on!
- You couldn't throw the cat out of the house!
- Hey, the UMP could steal on this guy!
- Pitchers got a Big Butt! (In the movie "The Last Rookie")
- I've seen a better arm on a box of baking soda!
- Get him an L screen and a bucket of balls!
- This guy is Grade A beef!
- Put the spinner in the tackle box (Bad Curveball)
- Why don't you just tell him its coming and stop wasting our time (repeated pickoff attempts)
- Pitch him the deuce Meat!
- You better get some tape, because you just got ripped!
- Take off your coat, you're inside
- I've seen better arms on a beanbag chair!
- Hey, how 'bout some sauce on that meatball?
- This pitcher is pac-man...walka, walka, walka, walka!
- The last time he found the plate twice in a row was at dinner!
- I've seen more heat in a toaster
- You couldn't throw a party!
- You've got a great 55 foot 6 inch curve ball!
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