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 Hey pitch! Why do you keep hitting our bats? You can fill a closet with all those hangers! I've seen better curves on a square! Serve it up snack bar! This pitcher is getting lit up more times than a joint at a phish concert!
The pitcher is as dirty as the ball he just threw! This pitcher is dealing more junk than Fred Sanford. Be a hooker and work the corners!
I've seen better pitching in T-ball! This guy's falling apart like a Wal-Mart Sweater! I've seen better pitches by a used car salesman!You couldn't save a Word file!
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All Time Top Umpire Heckles: |
Rank |
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Stick a fork in him, he's done! | 1 |
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Open the screen door, he is outside! |
2 |
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I've seen better picks in an afro! |
3 |
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Take off your coat, you're inside!
| 4 |
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You couldn't pitch a tent! |
5 |
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Yoko Ono's got better pitch control than you! |
6 |
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Maybe your a lefty! |
7 |
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I've seen better curves on your grandma! |
8 |
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I've seen candles with more heat! |
9 |
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Where did you get that arm, a garage sale? |
10 |
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Call the zoo, he's getting wild! Flip him over coach he ain't done yet! Open the screendoor he is outside! You couldn't strike a note!
The way that ball was dancing, you know it wasn't Southern Baptist! Beethoven had better movements! You're supposed to drop and roll when you get burned! You better get a black top hat, a cape and a magic wand because you ain't fooling anyone with your stuff! One finger means fastball, not one mile an hour!
The harder you throw, the farther they go! I hope you got your degree! This pitcher is like the family car, everyone gets to drive him! The pitcher's got nothing on the ball but his hand!
I've seen better curves on a dragstrip! I've seen better pitches in a bar room! I've seen better junk in a junkyard! I've seen better curves on your grandma! I've seen better windups on a toy!
Nice pitch! It's might not be that fast, but at least it's straight and down the middle! Maybe Sherlock Holmes could find the plate for you! How about a donation for this walk-a-thon! I've seen better curves on a road!
I've seen better moves on a first date! Call a search party cause this guy can't find the plate! I've seen hot dogs with more mustard on them! He's got about as much control as two rabbits on their first date! This must be the Top 40 Countdown, the hits just keep on rolling! Get a snorkel because he just took you deep!
You couldn't pitch hay! Seen better picks in an afro! You are going to have to ride the SHORT bus home! When is the team getting in? Did the bus break down? I've had candles with more heat! You spend more time near rubber than a tire salesman!
There is more heat in an Amish home! You couldn't strike a pose! Hey Pitch, Take off the oven mitt!
You couldn't throw rice at a Chinese wedding! No, Really, throw a fastball! Save us some time and just throw it into the gap! We want a pitcher, not an underwear snitcher! Olive Oyl's got better curves than you!
I've seen better pitchers of beer It must be Italian Night, because the Pitcher is serving meatballs. If you keep throwing that tomato its going to rain chili for a week!
Couldn't find a plate in a kitchen! All married men out of the infield! Why does your shortstop wear a bulls-eye? Maybe you're a lefty! Where did you get that arm, a garage sale?
Get him a map, he can't find the plate! At least hit the cut off man! Turn the blinker off! (pick-off)
Rotate the diamond! (pick-off) I've seen better movement in a bedpan! (pick-off) Send a postcard it will get there quicker! (pick-off)
Read him like a book! (pick-off) I've seen a better move by U-Haul! (pick-off) Da dee dee de de de ..Just telegraph him it's coming (pick-off) Read that one like the Sunday paper! (pick-off) You already pitched to him! (pick-off) Feel free to mix in a strike every once in the while
More Pitcher Heckles  |
