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My kid’s team was playing in Cooperstown. Pool play was over and the teams were seeded for the two day 104 team single elimination tournament. The playoff game went into extra innings and our team was down one run in the bottom of the inning with two outs and the tying runner on third base.
The pitcher, feeling the pressure, balked (by not coming set) not once but four times in a row with no call from any of the umps that were on the field. After the first one I called out to the ump, “Hey blue can the pitcher come set before the pitch?” After the second one I called out louder, “Hey blue, call the balk! He’s not coming set!” After the third one I am now at the top of my lungs, “Hey blue, are you blind? Call the balk!” After the fourth one I screamed, “Hey blue, are you blind and deaf? You not only didn’t see four balks but you can’t hear me either?” Some of the parents were chuckling. Looking back I suppose that was kind of funny but in the heat of the moment I didn’t think so.
Oh… another one: I was at a youth basketball game. My kid was injured but I went to watch his team anyway. There was a ref that kept on making bad calls. I would say things during the course of the game but nothing too bad. After all, if he consistently makes bad calls for both teams I figure it all works out. Then, near the end of the game he made a horrible call. I couldn’t take it any more. I stood up and yelled out, “Are you kidding me? That was yet another terrible call! You should retire! I would call you awful but that would offend refs that lack judgement!” After that one the lady who was sitting next to me told me that she didn’t want anyone to think I was her husband so she got up and sat somewhere else!
This was quite a few years ago in the IBL (Intercounty Baseball League). The third base umpire was absolutely brutal. We rode him so much for a couple of innings that all of a sudden when another inning started he was over umping at first.
I was at a yankees redsox game in the early 1990s and a fan yelled at mike greenwell “hay greenwell you stink” Greenwell smelled his underarms and said “no i dont” for the rest of the game no one hassled mike greenwell and he got cheered by the yankees fans after his response
Longer story, but well worth the read.
My friend John and I went to see a Double – A game in Trenton Nj about a year ago. It was a beutiful day, so we decided to show up early to watch BP. Because we were right on the first base line, I decided to chatter at the opposing first baseman who were taking ground balls. Nothing bad at all, just a few comments about their fielding. The starting first baseman thought I was funny, laughing at most of my comments. The other guy, who happened to be a catcher taking a few ground balls at first, gave me a very dissaproving glance, as if I should get a life.
So I said to him, “Hey, what happens when you make it to ‘the show,’ are you going to stare down every fan that throws a comment in your direction.” To this, the player looked over at me and gave me an approving nod, as if to say I was right. At the end of the BP, he took one of the balls he had fielded, looked right at me, and flipped me the ball… again acknowledging that I was right.
Almost immedietely, a light went off in my head. I turned to my friend John and asked, “Do you have a pen?” He gave me the pen, and I signed my name on the ball. I then walked over to the opposing team’s dugout and called over the first baseman that thought I was funny… He thought I wanted his autograph. Instead I told him to take the ball over to his ‘sensitive’ team mate, and tell him that “I don’t mind signing autographs any time.” He immedietely busted out laughing, and walked over to the player who had flipped me the ball….
Surrounded by a few animated infielders, my new friend handed the player the ball, and delivered my message. The entire group fell down laughing, after an explanation by my messanger. Everyone was laughing of course, except the now enraged ball player. He threw the ball against the back of the dugout wall, looked over at me, and gave me the finger…. then he smiled, knowing i had got the best of him.
Jim Traber was not a skinny man, but he did play first base for the Baltimore Orioles from 1984 – ’89.
In one particular break in one of those games, as Jim was standing next to first base, a fan in one of the first 5 rows stood up and said:
“Hey Traber…..I’m gonna go get a hot dog. You want one?”
Most every seat on the first base side of the stadium broke out into laughter…. as Traber stood there shaking his head
During the 2005 season, the White Sox were in Kansas City for a 3 game series. During the Friday night game, AJ Pierzynski was in the on-deck circle when a guy close to me near the visitor’s dugout yelled:
“Hey A.J.! What does that stand for, A Joke? A Joke?”
That got me warmed up, so later in the game when the White Sox fielders were jogging back into the dugout, I started heckling AJ as well with:
“Hey AJ, you just got replaced in Minnesota by a younger and better looking version of yourself named Joe Mauer! Joe Mauer!”
This caused him to pause and point at me with his catcher’s mitt while smiling.
This is a hockey story. So my most famous heckling story involves Mike “Ravishing” Ricci. I was at a game at the Garage in Vancouver, 3 rows from the glass. I love heckling, especially after drinking 10 beer. Every chance I got, immediately after the play stopped and it was quiet, I would rise to my feet, and have at it. “Hey Ricci! Looks like someone lit your face on fire and put it out with a pickaxe” No reaction from him. I must try harder. Again, after stoppage, “Hey Ricci! You got a face that makes your mother jump!”
Finally during the 3rd period, he was lining up for face off 10 feet from me as I proclaimed, “Hey Ricci! Halloween’s over, take off your mask!” This got his attention, and he turned, looked up and nearly made me run for the exit……..he gave me a stare and I scowl I’ll never forget. My sections laughter turned to silence and I nearly Willian SHATnered my pants. I got a reaction though, which is hard to do at a hockey game, and boy, was I proud of my fine heckling skills! Keep those gorgeous locks flapping in the wind Reech.
2003 Astros @ Cubs Lance Berkman is standing in left field and we all start chanting jerkman jerkman jerkman etc. after a few times through he gave us the meanest glares
Well this wasn’t me but my friend went to an A’s game when Boston was visiting. They decided to sit in left field since Manny was there. Well they were playing the game, and a guy next to them said, “Hey Manny pull down your pants and show us the Red Sox!” Well my friend said the heckle was okay, but the way Manny looked into the crowd with this glare, and how the guy didn’t heckle him for the rest of the game was what she said was funny.
Probably the best line I’ve ever heard. The Cardinals are in town to play the Marlins immediately following the 2007 All Star game in which Albert Pujols didn’t play in and whined to the media about Tony La Russa not getting him in the game. A few rows up the first base line we’re in very easy earshot of Pujols. My buddy waits for a quit moment and then unleashes in an incredibly dry voice “Pujols, stop crying…sonny took it like a man at the tollboth.” It took the crowd, and myself, about 10 seconds to get and then a good number of the section went hysterical. It probably went over Albert’s head but the rest the fans berated him the rest of the game.
Before a game in Baltimore, Jared Washburn was running around
the stands to warm up. It was so early that they had yet to let
any fans in, but by the warehouse you can stand at the gate and
the players sometimes run by you. On his second pass, I asked
“how bout letting the O’s bat around a few times”. After the 3rd
pass I yelled “Hey Jared, I hope you have Tommy John surgery”.
He gave me the worst look I’ve ever seen a grown man give. It
was later that I found out the day before, he had given up 7 runs
in 2 and 1/3…..and was in his first year back from Tommy John
At a Norkolf Tides game in 2004, my friend and I sat in left field.
To our delight, good ole Gerald Williams, was playing left field
for this double header. Every chance we had, we reminded of
the whooping 150 pound Pedro layed on him when he charged
the mound a few years back. He continualy glanced at us, but
tried not to a seem as if he heard us. For the second game he
was in right field for some strange reason. So Jeff Duncan
played left. We continued to rail on Gerald though. About the
7th inning I yelled to Jeff “I know you can’t answer this, but if
Gerald is the biggest A-hole on the team, adjust you hat”.
Without flinching Duncan removed his hat put it back on his
head, placed his glove over his mouth for a few seconds. When
he removed his glove to get ready for the pitch, he couldnt get
rid of the huge freaking grin on his face. He’s a cool guy too, he
even spurnned Essix Snead and Gerald during a pitching change
to come talk to us. Even though he had gained a couple new
fans, he was still opposed to signing my beer…….bad Jeff, that’s
why you got cut later that year.
The basketball team at Boston University had 2 players, R. Butts
and P. Seymour. One was always injured or not starting, but one
night, after a long 4 years, it happened! Both were playing in the
same game at the same time and the crowd erupted in chants of
“Seymour Butts! Seymour Butts!” It was awesome, and this
continued throughout the night when either one was, in trying to
will the coach put both in at the same time.
I’m a High school umpire in southern New Jersey. I’ve
got plenty of good stories from the ball field. Here are a
few of my comebacks.
1) I had a coach continuing to complain about a call
from 3 or 4 innings prior. I told him “Coach, if you insist
on strolling down MEMORY LANE, I will show you the
ROAD OUTTA HERE.”
2)” Blue, you missed that by a foot.” My response was
“You need to go to the library, take out a book called
the Dictionary, and look up the word CLUE, because
you don’t have one.”
3) A fan once yelled at me “Hey Blue, you haven’t got
one right all f@#$%^g day. I replied ” I know I’m gonna
get this one right…..”.You’re Gone!”
True Story: The Indians are in town to play the Marlins. Oddly enough, the crowd at the game was quit sizable for a Fish game. My buddy and I had tickets about 10 rows up behind homeplate. Casy Blake, the 3rd baseman for the Indians, had about a 3 week beard growing which was very visable to the crowd. After striking out looking he flips off his helmet and as it gets quite my buddy unleashes \”Looking – so easy a caveman can do it.\” Our section erupted and Blake stared up and grinned for a second. The guy in front of us had tears in his eyes he was laughing so hard.
I was at a cubs training camp in AZ last spring. I was sitting out in left field. A guy sitting in front of me was heckling the left fielder for the tigers saying stuff like \’you are too far towards center field. you won\’t be able to catch anything from there!!\’ The fielder never moved and a few seconds after that, with 2 outs, a ball sails right into the glove of the fielder and he turns, smirks and tips his hat at the abashed heckler.
I was umping a college JUCO gane in Florida a few years ago. A kid went up to bat (ninth hitter) and he took three pitches right down the middle. After I punched him out, he turned and starting walking toward the dugout. Here is the kicker; one of his teammates yelled this, \”May I help you?\” and HIS OWN BENCH retorted in unison, \”No thank you! I\’m just looking!\” I thought everyone in the park, on both sides just about died laughing!! Priceless!! You may have it already, but, in umpiring for 27 years that was the best!!
At the University of Arkansas’ Baum Stadium, you should be aware that a random act of heckling will occur. All that has to happen is you show up as a member of the visiting team, and wear the number “9”. It usually occurs when you are in the batters box, but heaven help you if you come in during the middle of an inning as a relief pitcher. While you are in “action”, the fans will randomly shout “nine”. There is no choreography of this heckling. You are just in the wrong place at the wrong time with a number “9” on your back. Coaches are not immune either. You’ll even be heckled if you are in the coaching box.
My friend and I attended a Yankees v. Jays game a few years back when Doc Gooden had just gotten out of rehab. We were sitting right above the Yanks bullpen and my friend and I started asking Doc how rehab was and told him that he was going to fall off the wagon again. 20 minutes later, we got turfed out of the place
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