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Posted on Sun, Oct. 17, 2004

For the heckler in all of us




Herald Staff Writer

One thing that drives us nuts about sports is . . . sports fans. Not all of them, mind you, but some of them are enough to ruin it for everybody. First you have the guy in front of you who is showing off his knowledge of the game to his girlfriend. No one has the heart to tell him most of what he's telling her is wrong. Why ruin his game, even if he's ruining ours?

Then there's the guy sitting next to you who doesn't pay attention. He makes 12 stops at the restroom/concession stand, and when he returns to his seat, he needs an update but doesn't pay attention long enough for it to matter.

Finally (we're sure there's more, but we'll leave it at three) there's the drunk guy who yells at the other fans, players, coaches, referees and anybody else making a living at the game.

If we're lucky, the heckler has something interesting to say. If so, they must have read dkaid@bradentonherald.comhttp://www.heckledepot.com/ for inspiration.

 Highlights

Most of the heckles are baseball-centric. It's convenient they break down heckles by categories such as umpires (example: Have you lost your strike zone in the lights?), bullpen (Show us your home run pitch), fielders (Get that guy OnStar cause he looked lost!), comebacks (Here's an alcoholic who doesn't want to remain anonymous.) and a special "Best Of . . ." group (Olive Oyl's got better curves than you).

 What we'd like to see

They should add a message board, so fans can carry on a dialogue.

 Annoyances

We didn't find the "Recently Submitted Heckles" all that funny.

 The grade

Not much to look at, but it's good for a couple laughs. Two-and-a-half mouses.


Douglas A. Kaid gets heckled all the time while writing, but he doesn't notice because, as a professional, he's learned to block it out. He can be reached at 782-1209 or dkaid@bradentonherald.com .

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