One thing that drives us
nuts about sports is . . . sports fans. Not all of them, mind you,
but some of them are enough to ruin it for everybody. First you have
the guy in front of you who is showing off his knowledge of the game
to his girlfriend. No one has the heart to tell him most of what
he's telling her is wrong. Why ruin his game, even if he's ruining
Then there's the guy sitting next to you who doesn't pay
attention. He makes 12 stops at the restroom/concession stand, and
when he returns to his seat, he needs an update but doesn't pay
attention long enough for it to matter.
Finally (we're sure there's more, but we'll leave it at three)
there's the drunk guy who yells at the other fans, players, coaches,
referees and anybody else making a living at the game.
If we're lucky, the heckler has something interesting to say. If
so, they must have read firstname.lastname@example.org://www.heckledepot.com/
Most of the heckles are baseball-centric. It's convenient they
break down heckles by categories such as umpires (example: Have you
lost your strike zone in the lights?), bullpen (Show us your home
run pitch), fielders (Get that guy OnStar cause he looked lost!),
comebacks (Here's an alcoholic who doesn't want to remain
anonymous.) and a special "Best Of . . ." group (Olive Oyl's got
better curves than you).
• What we'd like to see
They should add a message board, so fans can carry on a
We didn't find the "Recently Submitted Heckles" all that
• The grade
Not much to look at, but it's good for a couple laughs.
Douglas A. Kaid gets heckled all the time
while writing, but he doesn't notice because, as a professional,
he's learned to block it out. He can be reached at 782-1209 or email@example.com