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Regina Brett

If you're going to heckle, then learn to do it right

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I wish I could take credit for those, but I can't. I found them on www.heckledepot.com, where people from all over the country send their best - and worst - heckles. The site even breaks them into categories.

Want to heckle the pitcher? Try these:

Call a search party, 'cause this guy can't find the plate!

Maybe you're a lefty!

I've seen better arms on a beanbag chair!

Throw the ball, not the game!

If you want to bash the umpire, hold up your cell phone and holler: Hey Ump, is this your cell phone? Because it has three missed calls!

Or yell:

It's a strike zone, not an end zone!

You need to go to confession after that call!

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