If you're going to heckle, then learn to do it right

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I've gotten better calls from my ex- wife!

For fielders, the Web site of fers these:

Cinderella gets to the ball faster than you do!

I've seen better hands on a clock!

"I don't know" is on third!

I thought only horses slept standing up!

For batters, you can chant:

I've seen monkeys take better swings!

Betty Crocker makes a better batter than you!

You couldn't hit the bottle!