Baseball Heckle Depot: 2050 Heckles & Heckling Tips

I was once a hapless baseball heckler…

..but I had no idea exactly how bad I was until the summer of 1996. It was then, while taking in a Jays game with a few friends, we pitched a particularly bad line towards the Twins bullpen. Looking down on Greg Hansell, the line was “Hey Hansell, where’s Grettel?”. Twins catcher Matt Walbeck turned around and said, ‘You’re the worst hecklers I’ve ever heard in my life,’. It was then I realized the need to improve my powers of harassment. Quickly realizing there was a lack of literature devoted to baseball heckling, I started the HeckleDepot. So for all you bad baseball hecklers out there, and all your embarrased friends, this site is for you.

The Big List of Fielder Heckles

Famous Big Lists

This infield has more holes in it than a swiss cheese donut The only ring you’re going to get is an engagement ring! You’d better not shower after the game, your hands might rust! Last year he won the gold glove this year he is wearing it. Take the skillet out of your mitt it [...]

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The Big List of Bullpen Heckles

Famous Big Lists

“Hey, can I have a ball?” (After refusal) “That’s OK; I’ll get one when you pitch.” Who’s taking the loss today? Show us your home run pitch At least you can’t blow any saves sitting on the bench! Ball. Ball. Go ahead and start with Strikes whenever you’re ready! This is the guy we want! [...]

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The Big List of Umpire Heckles

Famous Big Lists

The manager called, your uniform is ready I thought only horses slept standing up! That was higher than a t-shirt at Mardi Gras! It’s against the law to make prank calls! (Hold up cell phone) Is this your cell phone? Because it has three missed calls! That pitch was like your last date, you didn’t [...]

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The Big List of Batter Heckles

Baseball

The only cleaning up you guys know about involves cleaning supplies DH? Does that stand for Don’t Have talent? Hey, Mendoza called. He wants his line back! Struuuuuggling! I’ve seen monkeys take better swings! You want some belt with that buckle? Get a reciept because you just got rung up. You have a $200 bat [...]

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The Big List of Pitcher Heckles

Famous Big Lists

These are starting pitcher heckles, bullpen heckles here. The last one of you to throw a no-hitter was the pitching machine He’s going to take you so deep, you’ll think you’re a Chilean miner He’s going to re-gift your next fastball Throw the Gyro! Yoko Ono’s got better pitch control than you I don’t think [...]

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Best Historical Heckles

Assorted

Nice route Magellan! Nice play Shakespeare!

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Politically Incorrect Heckles

Assorted

You couldn’t throw rice at a Chinese wedding! There is more heat in an Amish home! I’ve seen better hit and runs in the ghetto! Be a pimp and slap it! You’re about as washed up as the Gulf Coast!

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Base Runner

Assorted

You haven’t reached second base since your prom! I’ve seen better legs on my couch! I’ve seen better legs hangin’ out of a nirds nest! I haven’t seen a slide like that since Enron I’ve seen better slides at the pool! You run like you’re moving furniture! You run like a dry creek! Your average [...]

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Heckle Videos

Caught on Film

Todd Greene Heckle – Baller Road Trip 3 1234next » TitleTodd Greene Heckle – Baller Road Trip 3 Runtime1:39 View count23,122 TitleHeckling at its Finest! NOLA Crew vs. the Zephyrs Runtime4:56 View count14,327 TitleBaseball heckling Runtime0:44 View count439 TitleGiants left field fans heckle Lastings Milledge Runtime1:02 View count7,491 TitleYankee Fans Heckle Kirby Puckett Runtime0:53 View [...]

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Worst Heckles Ever – Don’t Try These!

Assorted

I find your skills and predeliction in regards to the position of first baseman to be lacking. Your throwing ability is reminiscent of the female gender, rather than that of the males! You are not very good at pitching Our team is better at playing baseball than yours is. You probably aren’t going to get [...]

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Mindless Chatter

Assorted

MIndless banter is common in baseball. With 39 men sitting, watching the game while 1 of their teammates is at bat, it’s not hard to understand why. While the crowd may be coming up with witty one-liners intent on taking the batters focus away from his turn at bat, his teammates are equally focused on providing him the encouragement he needs. This invariably results in some absolute gems of wisdom as the list below will show.

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Best Country and Western Heckles

Assorted

Nice boots cowboy! You couldn’t pitch hay! You’ve got more boots that Willie Nelson! I’ve seen better calls at a square dance!

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Most Original Heckles

Assorted

Hey Batter, re-gift that fastball I’ve seen better picks in an Afro! Olive Oyl’s got better curves than you! Cinderella gets to the ball faster than you do! How’s your Japanese? You couldn’t hit sand if you fell off a camel! Hey Ump, I thought only horses slept standing up! Swing the bat yourself, batteries [...]

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Fan Signs Seen at Ballpark

Gone With The Win (Yankees/Braves gm 6 96 World Series. Yankees up 3 games to 2. Sign in Yankee Stadium reads. ) Thome is my homey There’s no “A” in sellout! (In reference to Jason Giambi’s return to Oakland in 2002) J.T. Snow: The fallen Angel (seen at Game 2 2002WS in Anaheim) Smoke-It Salmon [...]

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