The Big List of Bad Heckles
- Hey pitch, are you a marine geologist? Because that ball was sent deeper than the Titan submersible!
- I’ve seen gas prices higher than your batting average!
- I’ve had breathalyzers higher than your batting avg!
- He’s going to take you so deep, you’ll need a SpaceX ticket to get back!
- This infield’s got more holes in it than OJ’s alibi!
- I’ve got crypto stocks in better shape than you!
- I’ve seen better sliders at White Castle!
- Thank you, come again!
- There’s more holes in his glove than a Supreme Court ruling!
- Hey Blue! I’ve gotten better calls from my ex-wife!
- Nice uniform, where’s the Star Trek convention?
- You couldn’t save anything at a WalMart sale!
- You couldn’t save anything, not even in Google Drive!
- This must be TikTok, the hits just keep coming!
- I’ve seen a better move by U-Haul!
- This pitcher is Pac-Man… walka, walka, walka, walka!
- You couldn’t save a Word file!!
- I haven’t seen a slide like that since Enron!
- The graphics on your personal website suck!
- I’m taking all your baseball cards out of their mylar protective cases and bending the corners!
- That ball’s going over your head, just like Sesame Street!
- Get that guy OnStar cause he looked lost!
- Did you buy that swing from GNC?
- Did you make the call on WMD in Iraq as well?
- I find your skills and predilection in regards to the position of first baseman to be lacking.
- Your throwing ability is reminiscent of the female gender, rather than that of the males!
- You are not very good at pitching.
- Our team is better at playing baseball than yours is.
- Hey what’s the difference between the Ump and a blind waiter? They both can’t find the plate!
- You should go play for the Harlem Globewalkers!
- Next time don’t buy a kangaroo leather glove!
- You spend more time in the field than a produce farmer!
- Now remember, if you can hit it, run that way… like you’re escaping student loan payments!
- Nacho nacho pitch, you don’t have to swing if it’s nacho pitch! (To the tune of Macho Man)
- He doesn’t have a batting average, he has a battling average!
- He doesn’t have a batting average, his batting is average!
- I thought bats could see at night!
- Did you just sign a contract with Ivory Soap? You look all washed up lately!
- This pitcher is ChatGPT… throwing out garbage at random!
- Your game is lagging like my WiFi on airplane mode!
- He doesn’t have a batting average, he has a buffering symbol!