The Big List of Bad Heckles

An image in the style of Archie Comics, depicting one baseball fan heckling with a cheesy joke and other fans reacting with groans

Hey pitch, are you a marine geologist? Because that ball was sent deeper than the Mariana Trench!

I’ve had breathalyzers higher than your batting avg

He’s going to take you so deep you’ll think you were a Chilean miner!

This infields got more holes in it than OJ’s alibi!

I’ve got internet stocks in better shape than you!

I’ve seen better sliders at White Castle!

Thank you, come again!

There’s more holes in his glove than a Florida presidential ballot!

Hey Blue! I’ve gotten better calls from my ex-wife!

Nice uniform, where’s the Star Trek convention?

You couldn’t save anything at a WalMart sale!

This must be the Top 40 Countdown, the hits just keep on rolling!

I’ve seen a better move by U-Haul!

This pitcher is pac-man…walka, walka, walka, walka!

You couldn’t save a Word file!!

I haven’t seen a slide like that since Enron!

The graphics on your personal website suck!

I’m taking all your baseball cards out of their mylar protective cases and bending the corners!

That balls going over your head, just like Sesame Street!

Get that guy OnStar cause he looked lost!

Did you buy that swing from GNC?

Did you make the call on WMD in Iraq as well?

I find your skills and predilection in regards to the position of first baseman to be lacking.

Your throwing ability is reminiscent of the female gender, rather than that of the males!

You are not very good at pitching

Our team is better at playing baseball than yours is.

Hey what’s the difference between the Ump and a blind waiter? They Both can’t find the plate!

You should go play for the Harlem Globewalkers!

Next time don’t buy a kangaroo leather glove!

You spend more time in the field than a produce farmer!

Now remember, if you can hit it, run that way.

Nacho nacho pitch, you don’t have to swing if it’s nacho pitch (To the tune of Macho-Man)

He doesn’t have a batting average, he has a battling average!

He doesn’t have a batting average, his batting is average!

I thought bats could see at night!

Did you just sign a contract with Ivory Soap? You look all washed up lately!