The Big List of Bad Heckles

  • Hey pitch, are you a marine geologist? Because that ball was sent deeper than the Titan submersible!
  • I’ve seen gas prices higher than your batting average!
  • I’ve had breathalyzers higher than your batting avg!
  • He’s going to take you so deep, you’ll need a SpaceX ticket to get back!
  • This infield’s got more holes in it than OJ’s alibi!
  • I’ve got crypto stocks in better shape than you!
  • I’ve seen better sliders at White Castle!
  • Thank you, come again!
  • There’s more holes in his glove than a Supreme Court ruling!
  • Hey Blue! I’ve gotten better calls from my ex-wife!
  • Nice uniform, where’s the Star Trek convention?
  • You couldn’t save anything at a WalMart sale!
  • You couldn’t save anything, not even in Google Drive!
  • This must be TikTok, the hits just keep coming!
  • I’ve seen a better move by U-Haul!
  • This pitcher is Pac-Man… walka, walka, walka, walka!
  • You couldn’t save a Word file!!
  • I haven’t seen a slide like that since Enron!
  • The graphics on your personal website suck!
  • I’m taking all your baseball cards out of their mylar protective cases and bending the corners!
  • That ball’s going over your head, just like Sesame Street!
  • Get that guy OnStar cause he looked lost!
  • Did you buy that swing from GNC?
  • Did you make the call on WMD in Iraq as well?
  • I find your skills and predilection in regards to the position of first baseman to be lacking.
  • Your throwing ability is reminiscent of the female gender, rather than that of the males!
  • You are not very good at pitching.
  • Our team is better at playing baseball than yours is.
  • Hey what’s the difference between the Ump and a blind waiter? They both can’t find the plate!
  • You should go play for the Harlem Globewalkers!
  • Next time don’t buy a kangaroo leather glove!
  • You spend more time in the field than a produce farmer!
  • Now remember, if you can hit it, run that way… like you’re escaping student loan payments!
  • Nacho nacho pitch, you don’t have to swing if it’s nacho pitch! (To the tune of Macho Man)
  • He doesn’t have a batting average, he has a battling average!
  • He doesn’t have a batting average, his batting is average!
  • I thought bats could see at night!
  • Did you just sign a contract with Ivory Soap? You look all washed up lately!
  • This pitcher is ChatGPT… throwing out garbage at random!
  • Your game is lagging like my WiFi on airplane mode!
  • He doesn’t have a batting average, he has a buffering symbol!