The Big List of Base Runner Heckles

A two year old with out a sled has better slides

I’ve seen better legs on my couch!

I’ve seen better legs hanging’ out of a birds nest!

I haven’t seen a slide like that since Enron

I’ve seen better slides at the pool!

You run like you’re moving furniture!

You run like a dry creek!

Your average speed is slower that a Hippo on stilts!

Way to stretch that triple in to a double!

You run like a deer! A John Deere

You couldn’t run a bath!

I’ve seen better legs in a bucket of chicken.

Put some WHEELS on that wagon you’re pulling’!

Are you posing for a picture?

I’ve seen better legs on a piano

The team bus could have got around second faster than you!

You couldn’t steal home if you had a key!

Unhitch the trailer!

You move like a potted plant!

Maybe some day you’ll learn to play that piano you’re dragging!

Are you carrying a safe?

It’s all right to drag the piano, just don’t stop to play it.

Base Clogger!

You call that baserunning? I’ve seen better runs in [insert teammate’s name here]’s panty hose!