The Big List of Bullpen Heckles
- You're about as washed up the Jersey Shore after Hurricane Sandy.
- "Hey, can I have a ball?" (After refusal) "That's OK; I'll get one when you pitch."
- Who's taking the loss today?
- Show us your home run pitch
- At least you can't blow any saves sitting on the bench!
- Ball. Ball. Go ahead and start with Strikes whenever you're ready!
- This is the guy we want!
- You've been on the bench so long you've got enough splinters to build a house.
- Nice change-up, but let's see your fastball!
- You're gonna wear out the wood on that bench!
- You in dry-dock down there?
- Go out and throw some gas on that fire!
- May as well go home (name of closer), we wont be needing you tonight.
- The average age down there is deceased!
- A no-hitter for you is when you go a game without hitting someone!
- You glued to that bench?
- Are you still active? Are you the bullpen coach now?
- You've been cut, its in today's paper!
- Dead Man Walking!
- You're gonna blow up real good!
- I hear you're on your way to Cooperstown!, Go on Sat. and its 1/2 price
- Nice uniform, where's the Star Trek convention!
- Isn't it time you retired?
- Does that Chewing Tobacco have steroids in it?
- The camera's on you, look busy!
- First one of you to actually throw a strike can start next game!
- I'll pay for the pizza if you go get it!
- Is it Father/Son day down there?
- You better start working on a knuckleball!
- Are you just sitting there waiting for next year?
- You always lose control at the same time, right after the anthem!
- Aren't you the Waterboy?
- I just saw your name on a Where Are They Now list!
- Did you ever think you'd be sitting next to __________?
- What's it like owning a glass arm?
- You haven't moved from that bench in so long they should call you judge
- Lookit! We've got the 7th,8th,9th & 10th starter
- Bet you wish you went to college now!
- How many pitches have you got?..work on a changeup, that'll be one
- You've got 3 pitches, slow, slower, and slowest!
- You guys could probably start, in Medicine Hat!
- How about giving that glove to Cooperstown? They're starting a LOSER exhibit
- I hear they're grooming you to be the bullpen ballboy
- I've got the scouting report on you, it says get you in ASAP!
- Pitcher got a rubber arm!
- You couldn't save anything at a Kmart sale!
- How's the bus ride to (minor league affiliate),______?
- Don't give up, they might let you close......if we get up by 10
- I've seen better arms on a chair!
- I've seen better control at an AA meeting!
- So this is what they call talent dilution
- Are you guys really from New York?
- Your Bio says all you throw is garbage, what does that mean?
- Do you find all these empty seats distracting?
- (Bullpen phone rings) If that's my wife, tell her I left 5 min ago!
- (Bullpen phone rings) That'll be for me, I ordered a Pizza
- Is it in your contract that you have to throw like a girl?
- I only have to be here for 9 innings, but you have to play for the Phillies all year!
- What position are you playing? Left-Out?
