pitcher heckles

  • Stay Classy Pitch!
  • You couldn't hold your dogs lead!
  • The last one of you to throw a no-hitter was the pitching machine
  • He's going to take you so deep, you'll think you're a Chilean miner
  • Pitch him the deuce Meat!
  • You better get some tape, because you just got ripped!
  • Take off your coat, you're inside
  • I've seen better arms on a beanbag chair!
  • Hey, how 'bout some sauce on that meatball?
  • This pitcher is pac-man...walka, walka, walka, walka!
  • The last time he found the plate twice in a row was at dinner!
  • I've seen more heat in a toaster
  • He's going to re-gift your next fastball
  • Throw the Gyro!
  • Yoko Ono's got better pitch control than you
  • I don't think you've got time to teach him a slider. (Mound Trip)
  • Here strike zone, strike zone strike zone. Come here boy.
  • The plate hasn't moved in 100 years and he still can't find it!
  • We should arrange a funeral for your dead arm!
  • Check the roster, you might be left-handed!
  • I've seen better pitchers at a Tupperware party!
  • We're lighting you up like a christmas tree!
  • Call this pitcher a butcher 'cause he's serving up the meat!
  • You could have started a car with that jump!
  • I've seen more heat in an EZ-Bake oven!
  • Dick Cheney has better aim
  • Hey pitch! Why do you keep hitting our bats?
  • You can fill a closet with all those hangers!
  • I've seen better curves on a square!
  • Serve it up snack bar!
  • This pitcher is getting lit up more times than a joint at a phish concert!
  • The pitcher is as dirty as the ball he just threw!
  • This pitcher is dealing more junk than Fred Sanford.
  • Be a hooker and work the corners!
  • I've seen better pitching in T-ball!
  • This guy's falling apart like a Wal-Mart Sweater!
  • I've seen better pitches by a used car salesman!
  • You couldn't save a Word file!
  • Call the zoo, he's getting wild!

batter heckles

  • Flip him over coach he ain't done yet!
  • Open the screendoor he is outside!
  • You couldn't strike a note!
  • The way that ball was dancing, you know it wasn't Southern Baptist!
  • Beethoven had better movements!
  • You're supposed to drop and roll when you get burned!
  • You better get a black top hat, a cape and a magic wand because you ain't fooling anyone with your stuff!
  • One finger means fastball, not one mile an hour!
  • The harder you throw, the farther they go!
  • I hope you got your degree!
  • This pitcher is like the family car, everyone gets to drive him!
  • The pitcher's got nothing on the ball but his hand!
  • I've seen better curves on a dragstrip!
  • I've seen better pitchers in a bar room!
  • I've seen better junk in a junkyard!
  • I've seen better curves on your grandma!
  • I've seen better windups on a toy!
  • Nice pitch! It's might not be that fast, but at least it's straight and down the middle!
  • Maybe Sherlock Holmes could find the plate for you!
  • How about a donation for this walk-a-thon!
  • I've seen better curves on a road!
  • I've seen better moves on a first date!
  • Call a search party cause this guy can't find the plate!
  • I've seen hot dogs with more mustard on them!
  • He's got about as much control as two rabbits on their first date!
  • This must be the Top 40 Countdown, the hits just keep on rolling!
  • Get a snorkel because he just took you deep!
  • You couldn't pitch hay!
  • Seen better picks in an afro!
  • You are going to have to ride the SHORT bus home!
  • I've seen candles with more heat!
  • You spend more time near rubber than a tire salesman!
  • There is more heat in an Amish home!
  • You couldn't strike a pose!
  • Hey Pitch, Take off the oven mitt!
  • You couldn't throw rice at a Chinese wedding!
  • No, Really, throw a fastball!
  • Save us some time and just throw it into the gap!
  • We want a pitcher, not an underwear snitcher!
  • Olive Oyl's got better curves than you!
  • I've seen better pitchers of beer
  • It must be Italian Night, because the Pitcher is serving meatballs.
  • If you keep throwing that tomato its going to rain chili for a week!
  • Couldn't find a plate in a kitchen!
  • All married men out of the infield!
  • Why does your shortstop wear a bulls-eye?
  • Maybe you're a lefty!
  • Where did you get that arm, a garage sale?
  • Get him a map, he can't find the plate!
  • Turn the blinker off! (pick-off)
  • Rotate the diamond! (pick-off)
  • I've seen better movement in a bedpan! (pick-off)
  • Send a postcard it will get there quicker! (pick-off)
  • Read him like a book! (pick-off)
  • I've seen a better move by U-Haul! (pick-off)
  • Da dee dee de de de ..Just telegraph him it's coming (pick-off)
  • Read that one like the Sunday paper! (pick-off)
  • You already pitched to him! (pick-off)
  • Feel free to mix in a strike every once in the while
  • What's the matter, you need a running start?
  • We want a pitcher not a belly itcher!
  • Hope you're wearing your neck brace!
  • Hey, lunch meat - keep serving that baloney!
  • Click your heels 3 times and repeat after me.....there's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home!
  • There's a fight at the bat rack!
  • You couldn't strike out Stevie Wonder!

pitcher heckles

  • You pitch like the plate is high and outside!
  • They're opening up another can of pitchers!
  • He's got one higher than that!
  • First pitch ceremony is over!
  • He's got nuthin but his glove!
  • We're going to hit you so hard you'll get whiplash!
  • He's an equal opportunity pitcher, everyone gets a hit.
  • He must be the Pillsbury Dough Boy cause he just got poked
  • Someone call 911...They are killing him!
  • How can you throw with both hands wrapped around your neck?
  • This guy only throws the ball 55 feet!
  • Have a nice shower!
  • I've seen better moves on Soul Train!
  • They show movies on that flight?
  • What kinda pitcher are you? Chuck and duck?
  • You've been hit so hard you're glowing!
  • That pitch wasn't even in this time zone!
  • Stick a fork in him!- that Pitchers done
  • I could walk alongside that pitch!
  • Watch ya gonna do when they come for you...
  • Its raining Baseballs!
  • Help, he's choking!
  • Are there any doctors in the house? Anybody know the Heimlich?
  • Batting practice!
  • Better get the bullpen busy
  • You couldn't pitch hot biscuits to a hungry dog
  • I saw your fastball pictured on the side of a milk carton!
  • You might as well have them hitting off a tee!
  • Get him a bucket, he's throwing up!
  • Put a coat on that hanger!
  • You couldn't pitch a tent!
  • You might not be tired, but the outfielders are!
  • The catchers throwing the ball back harder than you're throwing it in!
  • You couldn't throw a tantrum!
  • Who's calling the pitches?
  • Pitcher got a rubber arm!
  • Just bring in the pitching machine!
  • Throw the ball, not the game!
  • With this guy pitching, the ground crew will have to drag the warning track after the fifth inning!
  • You may as well let him toss it up and hit it!
  • I could time your fastball with a calendar!
  • You need to learn a new pitch-it's called a strike!
  • Leave him in, we're not done with him yet!
  • Someone go out there and put another quarter in the pitcher!
  • Wind him up again coach!
  • You should have a disclaimer, allow four to six weeks for delivery!
  • You couldn't strike a match!
  • You need a cut-off man for your pitches!
  • That ball was so far outside it had a hat and coat on!
  • You couldn't throw the cat out of the house!
  • Hey, the UMP could steal on this guy!
  • Pitchers got a Big Butt! (In the movie "The Last Rookie")
  • I've seen a better arm on a box of baking soda!
  • Get him an L screen and a bucket of balls!
  • This guy is Grade A beef!
  • Put the spinner in the tackle box (Bad Curveball)
  • Why don't you just tell him its coming and stop wasting our time (repeated pickoff attempts)
  • You couldn't throw a party!
  • You've got a great 55 foot 6 inch curve ball!
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