The Big List of Base Runner Heckles
- A two-year-old without a sled has better slides!
- I’ve seen better legs on my couch!
- I’ve seen better legs on a Lego figure!
- I haven’t seen a slide like that since my 1st week trading crypto!
- I’ve seen better slides at the pool!
- You run like you’re moving furniture!
- You run like a dry creek!
- I’ve seen buffering screens load faster than you!
- Way to stretch that triple into a double!
- You run like a deer! A John Deere.
- You couldn’t run a bath!
- I’ve seen better legs in a bucket of chicken.
- Put some WHEELS on that wagon you’re pulling!
- Are you posing for a picture?
- I’ve seen better legs on a piano.
- The team bus could have gotten around second faster than you!
- You couldn’t steal home if you had a key!
- Unhitch the trailer!
- You move like a potted plant!
- Maybe someday you’ll learn to play that piano you’re dragging!
- Are you carrying a safe?
- It’s all right to drag the piano, just don’t stop to play it.
- Base clogger!
- You call that baserunning? I’ve seen better runs in [insert teammate’s name here]’s pantyhose!