The Big List of Fielder Heckles

      •  You couldn’t catch a TikTok trend!
      • This infield has more holes in it that SpongeBob Squarepants!
      • Hey nice play, Shakespeare!
      • I’ve seen better range on an oven!
      • Hey they killed a cow to make that glove, at least you could try to use it!
      • Take the boxing gloves off!
      • Cinderella gets to the ball faster than you do!
      • This infield has more holes in it than a swiss cheese donut.
      • I glove you man!
      • You’d better not shower after the game, your hands might rust!
      • Last year you won the gold glove; this year you are wearing it!
      • Take the skillet out of your mitt; it works better!
      • I can throw a bowling ball better than that!
      • You couldn’t catch a rash at a poison ivy convention!
      • This guy couldn’t catch a ride on an Uber surge!
      • That ball’s going over your head, just like Sesame Street!
      • Your team’s group chat is about you!
      • We can list your glove on eBay — never used!
      • Hey Pinocchio, throw like a real boy!
      • FUNDA-MENTALS! (after an error)
      • Nice hands, All-State!
      • Someone brought their frying pan to the game! (after a booted ball)
      • Leave your skillet at home! (after a booted ball)
      • How ’bout some jam with that P B! (To catcher after passed ball.)
      • You’ve got the range of a rosebush!
      • Get that guy OnStar because he looked lost!
      • (To a catcher throwing to second) Is there a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow?
      • You couldn’t throw a cat out of a window!
      • What size boots do you wear?
      • Hey Jeter, I just bought your glove on eBay!
      • Nice Play! Next time mix in a little more leather!
      • What did you do? Get your glove caught on your skirt?
      • There’s more holes in his glove than a Supreme Court ruling!
      • Get special teams off the field!
      • Bozo called, and he wants his mitt back!
      • I’ve seen better scoops in an ice cream parlor!
      • Sieve!
      • Nice boots, cowboy!
      • It’s time to change the Velcro in your glove!
      • Find the handle! (after a booted ball)
      • You’ve got more boots than Willie Nelson!
      • I’ve seen a better throw at a pillow convention!
      • That’s why your mother didn’t let you eat with a fork! (After a booted ball)
      • Are your hands painted on?
      • The cow that was used to make your glove just turned over in his grave!
      • He bought a new glove and forgot to read the instructions.
      • Get the Teflon out of your glove!
      • This infield’s got more holes in it than OJ’s alibi.
      • You’ll have a heckuva year if your chest holds out.
      • Use your glove, it’s paid for.
      • Get a rifle scope on that arm.
      • How does that centerfield wall look there, 2nd?
      • You’ve got hands like feet!
      • Have you got that boot in my size?
      • This ain’t no rodeo, get those boots outta here!
      • He’s got hands like a digital clock!
      • Did you make that glove in wood shop?
      • He couldn’t catch a steel ball with a magnet.
      • I’ve seen better hands on a clock!
      • Check your shorts, third!
      • Way to kick it, Pele!
      • Watch out for those air pockets!
      • It’s not raining, so take off your boots! (after a kicked ball)
      • Get the spring out of your glove.
      • Boots always come in pairs!
      • Put the glove on the other hand!
      • Next inning, try leaving the glove in the dugout.
      • Did you get a free can of soup with that glove?
      • He couldn’t find his behind with both hands!
      • Nice throw, Alice.
      • Nice catch, Alice.
      • You couldn’t catch a cold, butt-naked, sitting in a freezer with your feet in a bucket of ice!
      • It’s Edward Scissorhands!
      • I don’t know’s on 3rd!
      • Can you eat with those hands?
      • Did you get your glove from U.S. Steel?
      • Try catching it in the glove, not your chest.
      • Is that glove welded on you?
      • You’ve got such bad hands, your glove is embarrassed!
      • We know you can catch the ball; how about hitting it?
      • Are you wearing your sister’s spikes?
      • BOOORRRING!
      • HHHHHOT DOGGGGGGG!
      • Game….Boring….Take..Nap.
      • Will you autograph my bus ticket to (AAA city)?
      • Nice route, Magellan! (For a fielder that has trouble getting to a ball)
      • When are you going to take off those handcuffs?
      • The magic number for this team is 911.
      • Now THAT’S what I call Defensive Indifference!
      • STERRR-RRROIDS!
      • Run, Forrest, Run!
      • Even though no one is here, this game still counts!
      • You’re playing too far off the bag!! (To Rightfielder)
      • Do over! (After home team error)
      • I’ve seen better hands on a snake!
      • You need some glue in that glove!
      • You guys are playing like you want to beat the traffic!
      • All 9 of you guys are supposed to be playing!
      • You couldn’t throw out the trash!
      • That’s not a glove… that’s a frying pan!
      • Putt-Putt wants to hire you for the ninth hole!
      • I’m standing and I can’t get down!
      • This guy couldn’t catch Covid!
      • You couldn’t field a beachball with a pitchfork.
      • There’s a softball team somewhere with you penciled in for first base!
      • Flies are sure out tonight.
      • Put ME in, Put ME in!
      • You guys were eliminated opening day!
      • This guy is a bush leaguer!
      • That was Bush!
      • Houston, we have a problem!
      • Let’s play two!
      • At this rate, you’ll finish behind the Savannah Bananas!
      • How much is your autograph worth?
      • How much is your rookie card worth?
      • Pace yourself out there!
      • You’re playing like Helen Keller!
      • I hear you’ve won 3 lead glove awards!
      • Why don’t you go wait on the bus?
      • When did you stop caring?